so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
