should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
