well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
