the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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