i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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