I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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