cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
