i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just googled if crying burns calories
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
