that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
