I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
