If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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