Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
