I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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