Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
foreskin is a definite game changer
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
