12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
