i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Found the puke drawer
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
