Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
