Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
thus making me awesome and them whores
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
