S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
