people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
