Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
