I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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