there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
