my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
