The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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