Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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