every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
