My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
