end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
