So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
