I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
