I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
me + whiskey = a bad person
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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