I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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