taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i need some magic done to my vagina
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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