I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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