If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
