After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
