I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and she was petting her beer can
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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