I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
