it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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