Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
