Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
