i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
