Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
