Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
