And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
