Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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