I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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