thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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