I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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