im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
