there's paper in my vomit.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
