Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
