Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
