hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
